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Hilarious Questions I am Asked As A Mother Of Twins

Hilarious Questions I am Asked As A Mother Of Twins

“Are those twins?”, asked a curious voice with excitement.
“Hmm.. yes! Those two similar-looking, same-sized babies in this stroller are, in fact, twins.", I replied, for the nine hundred and forty seventh time.

As a mum of twins, I do not feel any less than a celebrity every time I step out of my house. Thanks to all the glares, smiles and attention me and my kids get from the strangers around. While some eyes look at me reassuringly almost saying ‘you are blessed’, other brazen ones simply look inquisitive as if they want to do an entire research on the history of twins. I try my best to avoid communicating with the latter ones. But failing most of the times, I find myself fielding against their chain of questions.

 

The series of statements I inevitably encounter range from the most annoying to outright silly and hilarious ones. Let me give you a glimpse of some such remarks or questions along with a few answers that resound in my mind behind that typical ‘social smile’.

1. Are they natural?

If only you could explain what are unnatural twins. If only I could tell you that they are natural with bones and flesh and not artificial with plastic, silicone or fibre coating on them.

 

2. Do twins run in the family?

That's one question everyone asks and I always wonder how should that concern them at all. All they get in an answer is ‘Yes, they run in my family and make everyone run behind them, too’.

 

3. Why don't you dress them alike?

Yeah.. Well. That's because they are Twins not Clones!

 

4. Do they cry, sleep, eat together?

 

Of course! They even poop together… just like clockwork, because we have programmed them like that.

 

5. When one cries, does he wake the other?

No, why should the other one wake up? Don't you seal your child's ears with ear plugs every time he/she sleeps?

 

6. Do they have different personalities?

How can they? They are the same human being divided into different parts

 

7. Your hands must be full?

Of course not! More than my hands, my wardrobe is full, so is the diaper bag, so is the kitchen, so is the laundry bag, so is the dishwasher, etc etc

 

8. Which one is your favourite?

Franky ‘I am my favourite’, in typical Kareena Kapoor style.

 

9. You must be sorted for life!

Of course! And you must be done giving family planning advice.

 

10. Who is the older amongst the two?

And I try to confuse them by saying the one who looks older.

 

11. Do you breastfeed them?

Only when they are not in a mood for McDonald's!

 

12. Your house must be a mess!

Would you volunteer to clean?

 

13. Do they have birthday on the same date?

Tadaaa… they are Twins! Believe me I have been asked that and all I could do was…. -|

 

I dub these remarks and questions as ‘hilarious’ because they have no answers and also because “nothing can stand against the assault of laughter’.

By - Charu Gujjal


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